I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
