He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
