i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I think I just sharted jello shots
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
