my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
lol hangovers are for mortals.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
