so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
and you said cock pushups were impossible
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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