Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
