no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
