nut hugger
If that was your dad, he is hot
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
