My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
