so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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