In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
of course. lets lasso hookers.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
