Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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