i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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