I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
