Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Randomize
