Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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