First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
