i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
