i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
