ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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