Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
