I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
