I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
