capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
