Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

I haven't been laid since Bush was president.

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(707): View more from California

I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits

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(662): View more from Mississippi

My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.

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(561): View more from Florida

As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother

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(440): View more from Ohio

well look at the bright side

(440): View more from Ohio

maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"

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(254): View more from Texas

oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.

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