: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
my sisters under your porch take her home
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
