I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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