Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
