If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
