I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
