When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
