hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
