I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
