So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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