im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
