so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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