But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
