That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
