Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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