Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
