Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
