NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I think i got beer on your cat.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
