I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
