i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
