Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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