what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
