i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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