So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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