he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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