There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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